


A Wrong Turn

by A_Damned_Scientist



Category: Farscape, Paddington Bear - Michael Bond
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Crossover, Gen, cross - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-08
Updated: 2017-12-08
Packaged: 2019-02-12 03:34:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12950433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Damned_Scientist/pseuds/A_Damned_Scientist
Summary: During Aeryn's goodwill tour of Earth she sneaks away for some alone time and makes a new friend. NEW ENDING ADDED Dec 17th.





	A Wrong Turn

**Author's Note:**

> Written for JJ's Starburst Challenge 102 on Terra Firma.  
> Warnings: None to speak of.  
> Comments: A Christmas fic, a crossover fic, a Starburst challenge fic. One shot.  
> Disclaimer: Not mine, no money made and no beta this time out.

It wasn’t that Aeryn objected on general principles to going on a goodwill tour of Europe. Or that she objected to Chiana’s company on that tour. But, given her own way, she would far rather have spent her time on Erp with John, being introduced to his family and the things that were important to him, like she had spent nearly four cycles imagining a visit to his home planet would be.

However, as John was off frelling Caroline, it seemed she had to make the best of things.

So, if today was Thurdsday, this must be... Lundun? It was cold, wet and windy. And the tour itself was all crumbling edifices and pompous eemas. A bit like Rygel after he’d had a four arn prandial bath. Apparently all of these things were normal for this city in late December, but If she had to ‘play nice’ for one more limp-handshaked and limp-smiled dignitary she was going to shoot someth.... scream. She corrected herself. For some reason the Oomans were uneasy about her and guns.

Aeryn had had enough for today.

Fortunately, it was simplicity itself for a Peacekeeper assassin of her calibre to take the wrong turn when entering the ladies toilets and slip out into the street, merging into the early evening crowds. She was soon grateful that this was a city where nobody made eye contact with anyone – it enabled her to remain incognito, despite having one of the most famous faces on the planet that weeken.

After a few minutes she found herself in a small park in a quiet residential area, the sort of place where the comfortably well off, as opposed to the fabulously wealthy, had their residences. It was an oasis of calm from the sirens, the traffic noise, the hustle and bustle. And most of all from having once again to explain to a string of officials and dignitaries that she was not personally responsible for Peacekeeper military and political strategy.

Aeryn spotted an appealing-looking half wooden, half metal bench. In the summer it would have been shaded from the sun by the branches of the tree that loomed over it. No need for shade today, she snorted to herself, and sat down, pulling her coat tight around her against the biting wind. If only it would start raining it would be perfect.

She felt and heard someone join her on the bench but they didn’t seem to be invading her personal space, so she ignored them, continuing to look the other way, keeping a wary eye on two of the local Peacekeepers as they hurried past. They might be looking out for the missing alien, after all, and she wasn’t ready to go back, not quite yet.

“You’re that famous lady from outer space, aren’t you?” her new companion asked in a friendly male voice, completely devoid of awe, malice or anything else that might have been a cause for concern. “I saw you on the TV. I like your coat.” The voice continued as Aeryn slowly turned her head to inspect the speaker.

He was certainly different, even by the standards of this place: Floppy, brown felt hat. Heavy blue wool coat. Red rubber boots. A leather case. She’d been expecting someone taller. And not quite so fury. She had no idea humans were not the only sentient creatures on Erp. John had never mentioned it.

“Yes,” she frowned, cocking her head and peering at him with growing curiosity. “I am.”

“Although I think I shall keep my woollen duffel coat,” he leaned in and lowered his voice to a conspiratorial tone. “It helps me to blend in with the locals.”

That cracked a rare smile from Aeryn. Although she didn’t think her companion was joking, she reckoned it would take a lot more than a bright blue woollen coat for him to look like a typical Lundunner.

Her companion seemed unperturbed, and was acting like sitting on a park bench passing the time of day with an alien woman was an entirely unremarkable and everyday occurrence. She was secretly quite impressed by his calm insouciance. “And you are...?”

But her companion seemed distracted, and instead of answering, began rifling through the contents of his leather case. Aeryn watched intently for a few microts, her frown growing deeper, until suddenly he sat upright, pulling out a small parcel, amateurishly wrapped in garish paper and tied with a length of shiny ribbon.

“Here,” he said, turning to hand it to her. She took it. It was lighter than John’s journal, but a similar size. “You always look so sad on TV, so I thought you might like a Christmas present.” Aeryn stared at the gift, totally discombobulated. “It was meant to be for Mr Gruber, but I can get him another quite easily.”

“I’m.... “ Aeryn was lost for words. “I don’t... Thank you.” She leant in and kissed her new friend on their cheek. He returned the gesture by means of sending her an innocent smile.

“Dont mention it.” He clicked his case shut and sighed. “I ought to go – its tea time and Mrs Brown will be worried if I am late, but have a Merry Christmas, Aeryn Sun,” her new friend concluded cheerfully, before hoping down from the bench and sauntering happily away.

She raised a hand and waved farewell to her diminutive benefactor as he waddled away into the gathering early-evening gloom.

@@@

“Where the hell have you been!?” Carter, the head of Aeryn’s protection unit griped and spluttered as she sauntered through the rotating doors into the plush hotel where they had been staying. “No, never mind, at least you’re back! Charlie, call off the search!” he continued as Chiana smirked from a safe and discrete distance, seated beneath a large potted plant on an over elaborate leather and wood chair.

“What’s that?” Carter snapped, pointing at the parcel she was carrying.

“A Chrissmus present,” Aeryn answered entirely matter-of-factly, initially annoyed at his attitude. “I’m not sure what it is,” she continued, deciding that her new good mood would not be ruined by some jumped-up.... “Someone in a coloured coat with a furry face gave it to me,” she added in deliberately faltering English.

“Was he driving a sleigh pulled by reindeers?” one of the agents scoffed while several of the other agents turned to each other in hushed, serious and concerned conversation at Aeryn’s words.

“Don’t be a drannit,” Aeryn huffed at the speaker. “It’s not even snowing. That would be ridiculous.”

“Oh... kay...” Carter seemed nervous now. He gingerly lifted it out of her hands. She arched an eyebrow at him and smirked at his nervousness. He didn’t seem to notice as, clearly agitated and a bit scared, he placed the present on a nearby table. “But I think you ought to let us check it out, just in case...” He snapped his fingers and another two agents joined him.

He stepped back, shielding Aeryn as the two men got to work on scrutinising her present. Aeryn and Chiana tried to see what they were up to, but their sightlines were interrupted by the nervous bodies of several agents.

Beads of sweat started to line the two agent’s foreheads as, with metal pens, they eased the crude wrapping open.

“You’re kidding? Really?” one of them exclaimed.

“What is it?” Chiana hissed. Aeryn shrugged. She didn’t know either.

“You won’t believe this, sir!” the other announced.

“What IS it!” Carter snapped, still blocking Aeryn and Chiana from seeing what was going on.

“It looks like a.... Yep!” The agent held up a small, slightly limp couple of off-white rectangles with brown edges and an orange stripe down the middle.

“It’s a marmalade sandwich, sir!”

Aeryn arched an eyebrow and sighed. After all, over the cycles she had grown quite used to Erplings making a fuss about nothing.

“It’s MY marmalade sandwich, thank you!” she asserted, striding over to the surprised agents and snatching it from them. “And I’m hungry!” she concluded, her last words muffled as she took a hearty bite.

 

The End. And a Merry Christmas to all


End file.
